@#*$ @$*(@#*! @#&*%!

Dear Xbox Live Members-


Namely, the males.


As you sit alone, in your mother's basement, eating greasy pizza in your underwear and harassing me on your headset, I ask you to take a good long look at yourself. I know. It's painful, isn't it?

Now please take a second and listen to the CRAP coming out of your mouth. No, not the crumbs from the cheezy puffs your downing like they're about to run away from you- the ridiculous, lewd, vulgar things you find necessary to say to me just because I am a girl. Did you catch that last part? You just told me that my voice sounded sexy. At the beginning of the game you thought I was a BOY. What's that? You find red heads HAWT? Congrats, I'm a brunette. No, I will not blow you. You sound like you're twelve, does your mother know you're using language like that? Please go shave the peach fuzz off your face you call a 'beard' and let me game in peace. ...Oooh now I don't sound so hot huh? You're going to do WHAT to my mother? Interesting...I say, I don't believe that last bit was physically possible...


Do you hear yourself? You sound ridiculous. Utterly bonkers. You do realize right, that you will NEVER meet me? The possibility of me turning out to be some hideous hag is actually quite large. Perhaps I'm just a guy that poses as a girl to creep on creeps like you. Either way, it doesn't matter, because I'm sitting in my own basement in some unknown location just trying to virtually blow your brains out with my lovely shotgun. That's it. Sure, we can exchange a little bit of smack talk, and of course I'm going to call you a team killing f**ktard when you decide it's necessary to shoot me because you are apparently color blind, but please please PLEASE stop embarrassing yourself with this silly "flirting."


Don't believe me? Try talking to a real girl, in real life (I know, I should just stop there), like you talk to me. Then come back and tell me how quickly they called security.


I think your mother's calling you, something about making you brownies and sandwiches. Ta ta!
GG


P.S. I know there are plenty of fully clothed, fully functional male members out there not being complete D-Bags who just want to play a game. Keep up the good work boys, you're who keep the ladies playing!